A little trouble in webpage paradise.
I think there comes a time in every web journalists career when he or she will ramble on in a bad manner about a person or persons who he/she thinks could never possibly access his/her website, and then one gloomy day, while eating an Oreo McFlurry in McDonald’s, surrounded by the cast of his/her play, she is told that that someone did indeed read her webpage.
Whoops. It turns out that SK may possibly have read my webpage, though I have no idea how he came across it. He didn’t really come out and say he viewed it, but he asked me extensive questions about the site out of the blue. I know I flushed several different colours. I was clutching Nick’s leg so hard as SK grilled me about it. It’s not that I’ve said anything terrible about anyone — well, actually I probably have. Shit. How many times did I oogle over Sir Harry? Or how many times did I write a snide comment about CatsGirl? More importantly, how many times did I mention a displeasure with SK?
Whoops is all that can be said.
Rehearsal was interesting today. But enough about that.
Nick and I ended up having another long driveway talk. We’re just on weird levels lately, but nothing that we can’t deal with. I’m just in the sudden independent phase where I want to be know as Jennifer, while Nick wants to be known as The Couple. Nothing too serious, hopefully.
Speaking of hoping, I hope we get the aftermath of Hurricane Bonnie. Some good, loud thunderstorms would put me in much better spirits. I would love just to be able to sit at this computer in the late hours, sipping my sugared-down coffee with a candle flickering beside me and a storm brewing outside — like the old days.
Back to the webpage ordeal for a second. I was freaking out in the car on the way home. I was thinking up such drastic measures such as deleting all my archives to taking down my whole page. Nick, however, made the point that I have said numerous times on this page that I would be completely honest (by the way, every single person alive didn’t get what I meant by the honesty issue) and not censor anything .. but .. I meant that more towards people that I didn’t give a shit if they liked me or not. These people, I do. Yeah, I may not like something SK does, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like him personally .. I do. Grrrrrr. Ohwell. Anyway, I decided I’m not taking down anything.
Webpage Incident #3.
Anyway, I’m going to bed. Or getting something to drink because I am particularly parched at the moment. We get our costumes tomorrow, which I am sort of excited about.
And 54 comes out on Friday!
Ohmygosh. I am so tired. I honestly don’t believe I have been this bone-tired in weeks — which is an excellent cure for my insomnia. I almost wasn’t going to update, but so many good things have been happening in the past two days, that I just felt compelled to do it.
Let’s start with yesterday. The goal was to get my car inspected, since I had slept through my inspection appointment the other day. Nick and I decided that we were going to give my cute little Hyundai a good scrub inside and out before we trekked to the gas station, so I went over to his house around 1. It was so steamy outside and, being the WinterGirl I am, couldn’t take the heat, so I sat in the nice shadowed portion of the garage while Nick voluntarily did most of the work. We were visited by this extremely cute boy whom we shall call “JTT” because he looks exactly like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. JTT is the older brother of one of Nick’s sister’s friends, and is totally obsessed with making Nick his best friend. So, we chatted with JTT for a it — actually, Nick did most of the talking and I just tossed my hair over my shoulder and attempted to drink my gross Grapefruit drink in a sensual manner.
JTT departed, and we then decided that before the inspection, we wanted to drop off more OUAM ‘98 flyers around the neighborhood. So, we distributed the flyers in various key mailboxes and then decided to even further our distribution in Chester. In one of our flyer ventures, we passed Silver’s, Jason’s girlfriend, house and she happened to be in her driveway and I know she thought we were stalking her or something. How do I know? Because we are exactly alike.
Anyway, we then went to the Exxon to get my car inspected, but it turned out that they didn’t do inspections on the weekend, so we decided just go home — and can you guess? — eat lunch.
Well, as we were pulling into the neighborhood, who happens to be in front of us but .. Jason and Silver! I thought I was going to die. She really had to think we were following her then. Silver and I have an odd relationship. We really hated each other for the majority of the school year for one reason or another, but on the last day of the New York trip, we had this wondermous bonding experience, where we discussed how similar we are — and it is so eerie how similar we are .. real specific things, too. But, pretty much after the trip, we went back to silently sneering at each other, which is odd because we really don’t have any reason to dislike each other anymore, or at least I don’t with her.
Alas. After the followage, we went back to my house, ate and then talked to Nick’s mom online, where she invited us to go see the play Radio Gals at Swift Creek Mill that night. We accepted the invitation, and then I got into some good diva gear — black tight pants, form-fitting green tanktop and my black high-heel shoes. Of course, Nick’s entire family was dressed in sweet, conservative Sunday clothes and I again stood out as an awkward WildChild or something.
So, we arrived at the play .. and who is working .. but Silver! Three times in one day .. it was truly amazing. She sat us warily, and then quickly went away. I don’t blame her. We must have thoroughly creeped her out that day.
The play was one of the most absurd I’ve ever seen. It was cute and performed very well, but it was just completely so absurd. It was something Nick would write if he went totally awry.
After Absurd Gals, Nick came back to my house for a bit, and then back to his, where we made promises to meet up at 10 the next morning to do a little dining and shopping before our 2:00 rehearsal.
And that would be today. I actually got up at 9:30! Is that not a stupendous feat for me? Considering my sleeping difficulties lately, I would say it was phenomenal.
I went to Nick’s house around 10:30 or so, and then we were off. We really wanted to find the OUAM soundtrack with Sarah Jessica Parker, so we went all over Richmond trying to locate it. We looked in Tower Records, in Peaches, in Borders .. everywhere! Nick, however, did acquire the Fiona Apple piano book he had been yearning for and the 54 soundtrack, which he had been desiring for months now. That movie, by the way, comes out Friday and in honour of Nick, you should all go see it!
After our romps around the music stores of Richmond, we came back to my house and then were promptly off to rehearsal, first stopping in the mall to see if we could find the soundtrack there, which we didn’t. We grabbed some lunch from the Steak and Fry place, and then arrived on time at rehearsal, where DivaKelly and SK commended us on our poster-hanging duties the other day! DivaKelly had apparently walked into Paradise Pets, and saw our beautifully displayed flyer. We won major points for that endeavour.
We reviewed some scenes and so on. Sir Harry, the well-muscled stud, sat near me backstage and actually spoke to me. My heart was all a flutter. I found out that he was indeed a sassy boy, however. He was saying some good bitchy things. So, we blocked and performed. In one scene, I have to hold this lute (which is like a guitar) for like 20 minutes and it is SO damn heavy. I always think my muscles are going to give out and that it’s going to tumble to the floor, into the audience.
The next scene that was scheduled for rehearsal was the Spanish Panic, which is the big dance number that I am completely not involved in. I sat in the audience to watch, and DivaKelly came over to keep me company. I cannot stress my love for her. I swear she is an older version of me, or at least who I want to be when I’m her age. She was playing little cute games with the masking tape and just saying absurd things.
It was 5:00 by then, which meant we had an hour and half dinner break. The entire cast decided to go to Western Sizzlin’ for dinner, but Nick and I OF COURSE were the anti-social ones, and just went back to my house instead. We were only there for 20 minutes, though, when we had to go back.
At 6:30, we entered into the theatre. It was more Spanish Panic. I was supposed to be in the beginning of the scene, but SK cut that out, so I sat in the audience and watched some more. Nick’s dancing partner is CatsGirl and there is this one part of the dance where they do this little sexual shimmy type of thing and I can’t bear to watch. I revert my attention to Sir Harry and Lady Mabelle, who seem to — in real life — have this romance going on, even though he has a girlfriend. Hmmm ..
I got sorta tired and bored after a while, so I told Nick that I was going home, and then I would be be back by 9. On the way home, I ran into Jason and Scott, and Jason invited me to his house for a barbecue, so there I went.
I honestly hadn’t been in his house for close to a year, so it was strange to be there. His parents and grandparents were like shocked to see me, but gave me a very pleasant welcome. What was even stranger was the fact that the last time I had seen Kayla, his little sister, she couldn’t even form words and was terribly shy, but now she was speaking in complete sentences and like jumping on me.
I sat in the living room and talked with Scott and Jason for a while. His parents then turned on this Teletubbies tape, and it turned in to the creepiest show I had ever seen in my life.
We departed ways around 9, and with Phantom of the Opera blaring in my tape player, I went back to the theatre. I was really kinda nervous as to what to tell Nick what I had been doing since, as we all know, things are not good between him and Jason. I entered the theatre, and after a brief conversation with CatsGirl and her sidekick Lorie, I went to greet Nick. He was still on stage, but after a couple of minutes, his work was done and we made our way home.
He wasn’t really affected by my time spent with Jason — at least, not outwardly. But, I could tell a little bit of bad something was brewing in him for the rest of the night. We gave Josh a ride home, and then returned to my house, where we dined on semi-disgusting microwave quesidillas and watched a little Howard Stern, and then I dropped him off, which promises to meet tomorrow for dinner and more rehearsal.
Whew! I’m finally caught up.
I miss Geoffrey, by the way. He went to college last Thursday, and we didn’t even get to say goodbye. My fault, I’m sure.
But, anyway. To bed I must go so I can rise early.
Ta!
Well, again, another couple of day’s lapse.
I am really tired and about to go to sleep for the evening, so I won’t go into details of the past few days and just start up my regular, rambling, insomnia-induced updates tomorrow.
Hmm. Highlights .. well, rehearsal is obviously the event that occupies the largest portion of my time. This show is going to be so spectacular. I honestly cannot wait until the performances. I encourage all to come see it.
Nicky and I hung posters all around Chester today, including at our school. We’re so sneaky. It was a very cute day because we were being like little kids or something. I had my back turned to him in my room and he threw a whole jar of lotion at my shirt, and it splattered everywhere. Then I tackled him to the ground and squirted contact solution in his hair. We were both dying of laughter.
Ooo, and I got my eyes dilated. I was almost crying when she dropped that yellow shit into my eyes. Fortunately, the experience wasn’t as horrible or life-gripping as I thought it was, and the only inconvienance it caused was that I had to go to rehearsal without my contacts and trip over the stage, half-blind.
Otherwise, everything is tame. I’m not sleeping very well for some reason, though.
Alright. Tomorrow, a good meaty update, but for now .. goodnight.
So, I didn’t have to walk over to Nick’s in my soaking wet khaki shorts after all. I called him again, and ended up waking him up in the process, so he told me he would pick me up in 10 minutes. In the meantime, I gathered all my various rehearsal stuff together and then randomly grabbed a book from the Forbidden Book Shelf in my house, which consists of all these old, very-costworthy classics that my dad believes are for looking only and no touching.
I sat out on the porch to wait for Nick and read the book I had grabbed, which had happened to be Madame Bovary. Nicky pulled up a few minutes later, and we were on our way. Nick told me about his adventures in his Summer Show Choir thing. I love hearing about it .. everyone just sounds so movie-ish and absurd, and the way Nick describes the events, it just sounds like a lot of fun. It makes me wish that I had any sort of dance ability, and had actually made it into the real Show Choir. But, alas. No more dwelling on my non-dance talent.
Once we reached the Tech Center, I started to freak out again. The Tech Center is so small and confining, and I knew about 20 people were having to squash into the little building to do this horrendously difficult dance, and as I saw the people flooding in, all my anxieties came back. I could just picture CatsGirl looking at me with her squinted witchy eyes and then cackling, “You wench.” (Besides a princess, by the way, I also happen to play a random wench). I could just see BJ giving me her reassuring smile while thinking, “Damn that girl for taking up more space in this little trailer.”
So, after a minute’s worth of indecision, I asked Nick to take me back to the theatre, where I could just sit outside unobtrusively and read the damn Madame Bovary. He took me back and then watched with the faithful concern of a loving boyfriend as I sadly climbed out of his van. It was just one of those emotionally unstable nights, and I was a nervous wreck. Nick was so cute because he was so concerned that I would just be sitting outside, doing nothing, while he slaved at his dancing. I played on his concern a bit, knowing I looked young and vulnerable in my little green tanktop that made my collarbones stick out and my arms look skinny and gangly like a 12-year-old.
But, he was off, and I took a seat by the brick wall, shifting myself to find a comfortable position on the cement. For the first 30 minutes (I had an hour and a half until I was actually needed inside), I managed to just read and not divert my attention span. In the back of my mind, I was worried that some various cast member would walk by and ask me in that concerned, but what-the-hell type of voice what I was doing by myself, reading on the cement.
Just as this thought crossed my mind, who drove up in a snazzy little red sports car but the wonderfully gorgeous, Sir Harry. My heart sank. It would have to be him who would walk by me while I was crouched pathetically like a homeless girl on the ground. He was either too shy or unnoticing because when he reached the walkway by my little cement home, he didn’t look my way or say a thing.
Damn it.
So, the next hour was filled with reading and occasional stares off into the sky, which was an oddly pretty smoky lavender that I could’ve made a prom dress out of. DivaKelly came out a little later and asked in a typical DivaKelly fashion why I was outside. We had a short conversation about summer reading and then she left, only to summon me a few minutes later because the time had finally come for my rehearsal.
I walked inside and joined the rest of the cast onstage. It was then I learned the scene to be blocked was my least favourite scene — this part where I have to run across stage giggling and squealing as loud as I can because the King is chasing me. Shit. That scene makes me feel so self-conscious, and since this was the night to end all self-conscious nights, it was triple the agony.
Fortunately, I managed to run like crazy and giggle as loud as I could for the five seconds I was on stage. I got a “great” from SK, and then a mandate to do it several times more, as if it was for his own enjoyment. I wasn’t minding it too much by then because his meager praise had fed my pretty-much shattered ego, and I was able to carry on.
Meanwhile, after my little giggling scene, I sat backstage, anticipating when SK would call me back on again. I was a bit worried that Nick would come back from the Tech Center, not see me anywhere, assume that in my emotionally unstable grief that I had called my mother and gone home, and then gone himself. I kept checking in the audience to see if he was there, and Sir Harry just happened to be in my line of view, and my cheeks just burned because I knew that he knew that I had this little crush on him.
Anyway, I went to sit in the audience, and I ended up sitting next to Kenny (the prince), who just happened to be sitting next to Sir Harry. The minute any sort of conversation could arise, however, I was called back onstage.
Nick came in a few minutes after that, sweaty and cute. We made our way home to his house, so he could drop off his car, and then, cutely drinking Orange Soda out of Green Bay Packers mugs, walked back to my house so we could, of course, catch The Real World.
We gathered in my room to watch that, then went downstairs, made our ritual food, and watched our ritual shows. I love our routines. They are so sweet and comfortable and cute, and give me something to latch onto since Nick and I don’t see each other as much as we did since he has Show Choir.
Then an Avengers special came on, but it was time for Nick to go home, so I dropped him off, with promises to meet for something tomorrow, since I don’t have rehearsal. Or maybe I do, but I’m not sure.
Whew. And here I sit, at 12:48 AM, feeling a bit F. Scott Fitzgerald-ish and just a bit strange. I have to get my car inspected tomorrow, which means I have to clean the various stains off the windows — which means I need to get up at a decent time. That seems to be such the theme in my life lately.
Anyway, I love hearing about Nick’s day when he gets home. I feel like the wife who stayed at home with the kids, and he’s the husband, returning from a long day’s work.
So, I shall bid you goodnight for now.
I am really sick of living in this drab world I have pushed myself into the past week. I feel really useless and lazy, like all I’m contributing to the world is .. well .. nothing. I don’t do anything. I wake up in the afternoon, check my e-mail, do nothing until 5:00, which is when Nick gets out of Show Choir, go to rehearsal, come home, sit in this computer chair for three or four hours, and then go to sleep, to begin the lazy routine once again.
I wasn’t even going to go to rehearsal tonight, but I just called Nick and left a semi-fake-chipper message on his answering machine that affirmed that I did indeed want to attend rehearsal, instead of just withering away in front of my computer screen.
Unfortunately, I doubt he will get my message, so I probably won’t end up going, considering we have two separate rehearsals today — he’s at the Tech Center for dancing for the first two hours, and then the last two hours, I’m at the theatre for blocking. But I don’t mind watching him dance. In fact, I love it. I just always get this feeling that all the other cast members are smirking at me and just thinking, “Well, look at the little girl who can’t be away from her boyfriend for two seconds and has no life!”
But, again .. why should I care what they think? In 99% of the cases involving people, I have no ounce of caring for how they perceive me — a teenager’s anthem, but true for me, nonetheless. With these people in this play, however, I want them to like me. I want them to see me as someone independent from my boyfriend. I recognize the fact that I am not an approachable person, and that I’m not one of those people who can automatically strike up a conversation with someone, smile and have them be my new best friend. In fact, that actual idea of having to socialize or talk with people I don’t know — or even semi-know — scares the shit out of me. I can’t do it. So, I have to rely on my actions and not my words. What this entire paragraph meant was that the cast members probably perceive me as this co-dependent peninsula off the Island of Nick that can only brighten up a room when he happens to be there, too.
So. I think I’m going to go. What the hell else am I going to do, anyway? This morning I was actually able to wake up an hour earlier than my usual waking time, and have a picnic with Geoffrey, Jessica and this random girl named Mary, who (from how Geoffrey spoke of her) I thought would be entirely too creepy, but actually was very nice and shy. This picnic lasted for like two hours because I thought I had an afternoon rehearsal to go to, but then I didn’t even have that. It was nice to be outside, eating sandwiches and talking about such unnecessary topics as vasectomies. It was one of those times where I was perfectly content just listening to everyone chatter around me, and having no desire other than to pick the pickles out of my sandwich and drink Sunkist.
Again, I repeat that I think I’m going to go to rehearsal. Maybe I’ll go over to Nick’s around 6:15 or so because I know he won’t get the message, or maybe I should take the initiative and go myself. Such dilemmas for me. But, alas .. one step at a time. I thought I had dug myself out of this dependent hole I had been living in during the time Nick had been in Wisconsin, but I’m right back where I started, perhaps even a bit worse. Fortunately, I know a balance can be found, but I’m not quite sure how to find it.
Okay. I need motivation. I still feel like I have the flu, but I think that’s due to either PMS-type stuff or my really wacky sleeping schedule because it’s the kind of muscle aches that occur when I don’t sleep enough.
Shit. I forgot to take my shorts out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer. Maybe I won’t go after all. See? It’s like stuff like that that can totally throw off all my motivation. I really wish Nick would get the message. He won’t, though. I’m sure he fell asleep after a long day at Show Choir. I can’t blame him, though I really do try.
Maybe I’ll just go up at 8:00. But I don’t have any gas, which I why I wanted to go with Nick. Shit. I’ll just go over to his house in 15 minutes, wearing soaking wet khaki shorts.
But at least I’ll be doing something .. right?
“Well, I’ve been afraid of changing because I’ve built my life around you .. but time makes you bolder ..”
Well, another slow summer day.
All that was achieved today was rehearsal, which is not nearly enough in mind, but will have to suffice until I find some new hobbies or until I find the energy to extract the laziness from me, and attempt motivation.
So, rehearsal was good. We blocked the final scene, where I am in a wonderful position on stage because I am standing right behind the un-godly gorgeous Sir Harry. He is simply unworldy. He’s not very tall, but has this unbelievably muscled, sculpted, tanned super-body and this blindingly handsome face. A word to describe him would definitely be .. whoa.
Since I’m talking about various members of the cast now, I will mention that the CatsGirl is getting way out of hand. She laughs at absolutely everything and just talks and talks while SK is trying to direct. She and her sidekick, Lorie, are like obsessed with Nick, which is cute. It’s like Nick is the first person to ever pay any sort of attention to them, so they’re falling at his feet — which I can understand fully. But, still .. hmm .. anyway, Lorie went to New York over the weekend and brought us back programs from some shows, which was very sweet. They’re the type of people where you just get the idea that Nick and I (well, Nick, at least) come up in their conversation way more than they come in ours.
Then we sang a bit. Rhonda — the princess — has such a good voice! I just want her to make a tape for me of just her singing on it. Kenny — the prince — has an equally as powerful voice. This show just seems like it’s going to come together better and quicker than any other show I’ve been in.
Nick and I then came home, and did our usual “home stuff” — watched various MTV shows, ate various foods, cuddled on various pieces of furniture around my house.
Which brings up a question .. if you are so blindly in love with someone, why would you ever want to push them away from you?
But then again, that’s just more idealistic spice from the most un-idealistic girl in the world.
Fortunately, everything will be bright and chipper tomorrow like it always is, right?
Geoffrey suggested I rename my page “Diary of a Hypochondriac.” So true. I am a huge hypochondriac, but I also do get sick way more often than any normal human being should. Like, right now .. I think I have the flu. Or maybe it’s allergies. Or maybe I’m anemic. But the nice thing now is that I can blame absolutely everything on my bout with Scarlet Fever!
Hmm. Or not.
Grrrrrr. Grr. Grr. Grr. I just want to want to have at least two consecutive evenings where I don’t come to this computer in a grrrr-type of a mood. I would love to be happy and chipper-all-the-day and write about gushy good stuff.
Hmm, I mentioned tonight to Nick that I should dedicate an entire page to Sir Harry. I think that ruffled him a bit (or not, but I can always hope), but what Nick doesn’t know is that this website is pretty much dedicated to him.
But, anyway, to bed and to sleep. I’m off to Carytown once again with the lovely Geoffrey and the illustrious Jessica.
I wish this summer could go on forever. I’m not ready for school. Or anything else.
RYN-754
I drank a good cup of strong Espresso with a lot of sugar and ice cream in it, and it made me shaky and hyper as hell, and the time just flew by.. It’s 2:10 AM as we speak. Not that that’s an especially late hour for me to roaming about in the land of the awake, but it just seems like I have been sitting in this computer chair, staring at this screen for hours. The AOL online clock tells me I’ve been online for 1 hour and 59 minutes. Hmm. Not too terrible.
Obviously, I revamped a few things. I just wanted to make the graphics easier to load. This small redesign still holds my original flavour, just a bit more condensed.
It was an extremely cute day. I took Nick to see Saving Private Ryan since he hadn’t seen it yet. With my zero attention span and lack of interest for action movies (though this wasn’t really an action movie), I actually managed to make it through SPR for the second time without a breakdown. Nick liked it, but agreed that it was no Schindler’s List — but it didn’t try to be, either.
We had a quick lunch at Red Lobster, then came back here for a while. We went back to his house around 9 to greet his aunt and uncle who were visiting. His uncle is Paul, who randomly sent me an e-mail one day claiming he read my webpage. It was sweet and he seemed nice, so I was glad to meet him. His daughter, Khia, is cute beyond belief, but I accidentally dropped her on the floor because I just automatically assumed a 10-month-old could stand. Silly me.
Julia, Nick’s sister, has her first boyfriend and I can’t take the cuteness of it. Julia is this gorgeous divagirl who just seems like she would crush any boy in sight, so it was sweet to see her actually talking about a boy. She seems to be having the same dilemmas I had with boys when I was 14. Like I’m that much older than that now.
We then went back to my house, and made the Espresso and were cuddly together. I love those times the most.
Nick has rehearsal tomorrow. I might go, or I might hang out with Geoffrey, since he’ll be leaving for college in less than a week! Trauma!
But for now, sleep sounds good. I hope I actually get up before noon. That wou
This won’t be a tremendously long update. I have this headache that is again a different variance than my usual ones. I do believe I can account it to either a) my new contacts prescription or b) the excess amount of time I spend staring at this computer screen. Probably both, actually.
This site is going to get a much-needed makeover in the next couple of days — or weeks, depending on how much energy I can muster. The graphics are getting a bit tiresome to load, so I want to condense them, but still keep the original cheeky homemade flavour. I’m also going to try something different with the archives, but I won’t begin that until school starts up.
So, I avenged tonight. I was much more excited to see the movie than I thought I would be. Ralph is just my lovechild, and the minute he appeared on the screen, I squealed. I love him. He is gorgeous and talented and wonderful and has pretty eyes. The movie itself, however, was a bit confusing and boring, but it did have a cute feel to it. I think you had to have seen the series before to understand it completely. Anyway, my Ralph was charming as always, as was Uma, who is a bit of a girl.
There were these really loud, annoying giggling kids at the end of our row. Ironically, it is usually Nick and I who are the gigglers, but this time, someone else was filling that role. Nick and I, however, may be loud, but not obnoxious like the overeager people on our row.
Tomorrow, we’re going to see Saving Private Ryan, which, as we all know, I’ve seen before. I want Nick to see it, though, and back up my opinion on it.
I forgot to share an interesting fact with everyone yesterday. When I was younger (around 1 or 2), I had whopping cough and Scarlet fever within months of each other. When I was at the optometrist yesterday, my mother asked the doctor why I would have such horrible eyesight, when the rest of the family had perfect eyes. She mentioned my illnesses, and the doctor said that Scarlet fever had been linked to the deterioration of eyesight, among other body functions. So, apparently, my poor eyesight, bad immune system and allergies to most medicines are due to my little bout with Scarlet fever when I was younger. I just thought that was really interesting.
Speaking of my new contacts, they don’t fit very well. They keep sliding off my eyes.
I don’t have to go to rehearsal on Sunday, but Nick does for dancing. SK apparently realized my complete lack of dancing ability, and kept me out of all the dances in the show. I’m taking a dancing class, I’ve decided, since my non-dancing skills have kept me out of more than one thing now.
I feel so Emma Peel-ish.
Okay, I must get up fairly early to have a cute lunch with Nicholas, so I shall retreat to my bed and curl up in my purple comforter and the quilt that my mother randomly made for me the other day.
Goodnight!
As you may or may not know (and if you don’t, you should), The Avengers premieres tomorrow night, starring the heavenly talented and gorgeously-inclined second love of my life, Ralph Fiennes. You must go see it. I, of course, have already ordered my tickets.
No, not really, but it would’ve been cute if I had.
Ohyes, another exciting day in the life of Jennifer (or Jenna or Jenny or THAT THING, depending on your favourite choice of a name for me). Today’s main event was the optometrist!
This has been such a slow summer.
Anyway, Nick was supposed to accompany me to the doctor of eyes, but he ended up receiving a strict mandate from his father to occupy his household. So, he came over to my house. What a rebel. He was only able to stay for about an hour, in which we managed to peruse the latest issue of Seventeen, which weighs about 458430 pounds.
When 3:00 rolled around, my mother took Nick home and then we were off the to the doctor. It was the first time I had been at this particular facility and I was a bit scared. Any type of medical examination scares the crap out of me.
I don’t want to bore you with the mundane details of my eye exam, so I’ll just hit a few highlights: a) the tests they performed on me were like video games. There was this one peripheral vision test in which I had to press this little buzzer thingy everytime I saw a white light. Such fun. b) apparently, I have the eyesight of a 80-year-old man with cataracts. Even with my contacts, I was seeing like 40/40. So, I got a clear new prescription and snappy new contacts. c) I have to go back next week for that frightening dilation technique thingy. I’ve never had it, but Nick goes into convulsions everytime he has to explain the procedure to me.
So, that was finished and done, and the next big event of the day was rehearsal. It was mostly just a music rehearsal, which I was so happy about because SK had stressed the hell out of me the day before, and I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing musical appointment with Shirley, our cute SouthernBelle music director.
We reached the theatre and congregated in the lobby. When we began singing, I almost baked myself a batch of cookies because I was so proud of myself for being able to pick up my alto harmonies. I can sing, but I am usually like completely harmony-deaf, if there is such a term. Fortunately, BubblyGirl is a strong alto and sat beside me, so I was able to follow along with her.
Wow. I must mentioned that Rhonda, who has the lead part of the princess, has the most amazing voice. She gives me goosebumps when she sings. It’s cute because in SOM ‘97, she was a nun and she helped all of us Von Trapp kids keep our 3578490 costumes organized. I love her. I’ll also mention that the song Shy from OUAM ‘98 is possibly my favourite broadway tune of the moment. I can’t get enough of it.
Anyway, we sang for a bit, and I kept accidentally distracting Nick everytime his part came up, and the cast made cute little jokes about us. I loved it. Then SK and DivaKelly entered the room to listen, and we all got a bit tense. SK kept patting my head in this creepy reassuring way everytime I messed up on the clapping section in the Song of Love. Whoa.
So, we sang, sang, sang. Then, my part was over, but Nick had to go dance. I was just itchin’ to go do something, so while Nick was practicing, I went to get gas and to see if I could find the Sarah Jessica Parker soundtrack of OUAM.
Okay. I have this big fear of driving. I’ve had my licence for over a year, but I hate to drive sooooo much. It makes me tense and crazy and nervous, which is why I usually let Nick drive my car anywhere we go. This fact also probably accounts for why I have no idea how to get most places. I, however, managed to get to the Colonial Heights target and Circuit City and the gas station without panicking and ending up in tears. There were a few moments that I was screaming various curse words, but I survived and was proud of myself. I am such a wreck when I drive.
I couldn’t find the soundtrack, so I got gas and coffee at this creepy expensive gas station where the attendant kept asking me how to pronounce “Lancaster, Pennsylvania.” About an hour after I had left the Playhouse, I made my way back, blasting my Swing Kids soundtrack. I am so rarely alone in my car, and it was a nice feeling in an odd way. It’s like this therapeutic, serene time — that’s only if I’m on a stretch of road with no cars on it, however.
Once I reached the theatre, everyone was still up on stage practicing the Spanish Panic. Nick is forever paired up with CatsGirl, whom you will remember as the tall, semi-scary girl who auditioned for Cats and is overly-obsessed with Broadway. She’s also getting a bit of a crush on Nick, which is cute, as long as she interprets the “he’s mine” glances I occasionally flash at her. Heh. Anyway, they danced for a few minutes more, and then were dismissed.
Ooo, I made it sound like school. Let’s not do that again.
So, Nick came over for a bit and we had a very amusingly cute time. He could only stay for 15 minutes because he had to be home at 11, due to his lateness from yesterday.
I dropped him off, and here I sit, at exactly 12:00 AM. I’m a bit early for a change! Tomorrow, Nick is being forced into having a little bonding day with his father, so I’ll probably clean out my car or something useful of that nature. And then after that — it’s Avengers time!
“I would so like to reach out and touch you in your loneliness.”
Wow, I could use a really good massage right now. Or an appendix operation. My shoulders hurt like a bitch, and the lower half of my abdomen feels like a little man inside of my flesh is stabbing at it. I ate pretty unhealthy today, so perhaps that is the reason for my undesired pain.
I’m listening to Raspberry Swirl. It just isn’t the same since I saw her in concert.
Well, after you and I last spoke, Nick dropped by and we went by his mother’s new job to pick her up. After the pickage (that is a bad word), we went to my house, where we ate dinner and chilled for a while. You know — as a sidenote — I really hate the word “chilled,” but there just doesn’t seem to be any other word for the term “hanging out.”
Anyway, it was off yet again to rehearsal. I accidentally took a wrong turn, and who ended up driving behind us but the ever-frightening, BrassGirl. This girl used to be a very good friend of mine in middle school, but when we got to high school, we sort of drifted into different crowds and interests. BrassGirl, even in middle school, had this very slightly-annoying habit of finding someone that she thought was cool and just latching onto them like a blood-sucking leech. Well, she met Nick one fine afternoon and pretty much leeched herself upon him. BrassGirl has her moments where a bit of coolness seeps into her aura, but 90% of the time, she makes me growl. Fortunately, she unattached herself from Nick for the summer. Anyway, my whole point in writing all of that was that she was driving behind us, and we were both afraid she would follow us to wherever we were going, so we spotted Nick’s sister and drove to talk to her. When telling Julia, his sister, of our plight to flee from the BrassGirl, she informed me that this particular brassy girl calls me “that thing” in conversations. Example: “Is Nick with that thing?” That is the second person who seems to enjoy using a pronoun or “cute little nickname” in place of real name. The other girl is, of course, the ever-evil SalsaGirl.
Anyway, Nick wildly defended BrassGirl saying she would never say that, but alas, I believe she would, and there you have it. A whole paragraph devoted to one comment that upset me.
Yes. Rehearsal. So, we arrived at rehearsal, both a bit nervous that SK would find out we were at the concert instead of a wedding, which had been our excuse. The nervousness grew when this one bubbly girl asked how the wedding went, as if SK had announced to the entire cast where our young bodies were.
Fortunately, not much was mentioned about our absence. SK, however, seemed to be in a foul mood and blocked a scene in the most confusing way. No one understood a word he was saying and he, who is usually patient, got a bit testy. Thank God for DivaKelly, his wife and stage manager. Whenever SK gets a bit crazy, all I have to do is look over at her and she just has this”Sweetie, I know he’s really scary, but just hold on and it will be okay” look. I love her.
So, we finally got the impossible scene down after an hour and a half. The next scene on the schedule was my scene, yet again. It was the third time that week we had reviewed it, but I guess it was necessary since it’s the opening number. Tonight was the first night we were working with the set, and the platform I had to stand on was unstable and I kept flipping over it. We did this scene over and over again until even I, who loves every second of rehearsal, thought I was going to punch SK in the face and tell him to let us go home.
Hours later, we were allowed to leave. One good discovery of the night, however, was the guy who plays Sir Harry. Wow. He is quite the boy. He’s this army boy with huge muscles and good hair and a handsome face, and is just an epiphany in himself. We were a bit in awe.
Alas. We went by Subway, and then went home, where we proceeded to watch some weird sex shows on HBO. I love those shows. There are so absurd and retarded and good, and I just love them.
Nick, once again, was an hour and half late past his curfew, but hopefully, that will go unnoticed.
I feel damn sunburned, but this pale, pasty skin hasn’t been anywhere near the sun.
As I sit here typing at 1:40 AM, I realize that I really should go to sleep because I need to get up at a decent time tomorrow to go to DMV and the optometrist and all that good errand stuff.
I love you, goodnight and sweet dreams.
Another couple of days missed there, but this time I actually was busy and not lazy.
Alas. Monday was a slow, but cute day. Nick and I had made plans to go to a brunch-type-of-deal at our ever-favorite Applebee’s, but we arrived around 12, so it became lunch. It was really cute because we were both talking non-stop about broadway stuff and movies and all these topics that are usually reserved for “new” couples. I loved it because I was in a particularly chipper mood which, as we all know, has been rare as of late.
So, we dined there and then went our separate ways to do various home chores. I began to feel really sick, which, of course, is a pitfall from being the sickliest child in the world. Of course, the hint of flu aches in my body put me in an icky mood, so when I got over to Nick’s, I just sorta plopped on his bed, crawled under the blanket I had given him the other day and encouraged Nick to skip rehearsal that night.
Unfortunately, Nick, who is usually the prime instigator of skipping rehearsals, decided since we would be out the next day, it would be a choice idea to go that night. So, I drug myself out from under his soft blue Rafe blanket and went to rehearsal.
The first hour or so was a music rehearsal, but it was for a song I wasn’t even in, so I just kinda sat and looked important. BJ, the choreographer, came over to me and scolded me rather sharply for not learning the dance with everyone the previous day, even though I wasn’t even in that scene. And then I forgot to bring my money for the shoes. Growl.
Next was our lovely hour or so with SK, so we ambled into theatre and he blocked the opening number, which will be extremely cute once everyone gets the dance down. An unfortunate aspect of SK’s directing is that if something honestly looks kind of bad — like a tall girl with a short boy — he doesn’t fix it.
Ohyeah — a sidenote: there is this girl who at auditions, claimed that she had every Broadway article alive in this holy world and that she had auditioned for Cats in New York. Nick and I, being the skeptics we are, of course didn’t believe her, but that night at rehearsal, she brought her complete scrapbook plus a bootleg tape of the NY performance of Phantom of The Opera. She immediately won points and was from then on dubbed CatsGirl.
Anyway, the next scene was my scene, which is the only scene in which I have lines. We did that a couple of times, and then Nick had to go to the Tech Center for dancing. I went with him, watched for a bit, and then we were allowed to go home.
We went to my house, where a random intense discussion on both of our parts creeped up in my kitchen. We ended it in his driveway a couple of hours later, and I felt so much better. I had just been having all these icky things going on, and we worked them out, and everything was happily ever after again.
Okay, yesterday. Since this was the day of the Tori concert, Nick and I had made these big plans to go to the Landmark around 4:00 so we could possibly meet her at the soundcheck. However, by the time the afternoon rolled around, neither of us really wanted to go anymore. We got food and then came back to his house so I could see the infamous Phantom of the Opera bootleg that CatsGirl had bestowed Nick with. It was awesome and felt like the camerawoman was right on stage.
Nick’s mom came home and we retreated upstairs for a bit. A little rumble occurred because Nick wasn’t really supposed to go the concert, so I just sorta stayed upstairs, with his blanket. Everything was well again, however, and we then went to my house, where we planned to prepare ourselves for the concert.
We both attired ourselves in good outfits, and then spent like two hours messing with our hair and make-up (for me). I actually achieved the Heather Graham look with my hair and I was deliriously happy, but of course, it went flat and it was disaster all over again. Since we are both such vain people, we spent too long fixing ourselves, thus missing our 6:00 dinner date.
We arrived at the concert at 7:30 with trepidation, due to the fact that we really didn’t want to see anyone we knew. Geoffrey was fine, but everyone else was just one big no. I’m afraid that I turned Nick into a big of a misanthropic snob, but we both agreed that we would’ve liked to have been in a different state, where we could’ve been anonymous.
The concert was crowded and smoky, but I loved it. We did run into just about everybody, but it ended up not being that bad at all. Nick really wanted to get some stuff in the lobby, but I was so worried about missing Tori, that I drug him into the performance area.
The opening band — The Devlins — were okay. They were sort of Bush-wannabees, including the cute lead singer’s wavy-ass hair. They played for a while, and then Tori’s people set up her stuff for 30 minutes or so. It was cute because there were all these couples around us that reminded me of Nick and I. The guy beside Nick, however, was a bit creepy — he had a backstage pass and was recording the concert.
Finally, after some mingling and some dizzy spells, the concert began. The concept of it was awesome — all these flashing lights and disco balls. When she sang the first song, it sorta gave me goosebumps because I had never realized how many memories I had associated with her. I had grown up listening to her, and it was just kinda weird to actually hear her in person. All I knew, however, that I was glad to be there with Nick.
It was over really fast, it seemed. Nick and I both left a bit .. hmm, not disappointed .. but as Nick put it “I expected something and I got exactly what I expected.” Tori sounded beautiful, better than on the CD, but she was very impersonable, which seemed like a trait she would emphasize.
However, every second was worth it. A couple of people had asked Nick and I to stay after by the stagedoor, but we skipped out of that, and after a minor almost-run-in, we went to Denny’s, of all places. Nick and I both personally detest Denny’s, but it’s the only restaurant-type place open all night, so we went there.
After a quick greasy, but good, meal, we went to his house and talked in his driveway for a bit. Both of us were nervous about returning to rehearsal the next day (which would be today) because we hadn’t really told SK and BJ the real reason we wouldn’t be at rehearsal, and we were afraid that by some act of the devil, they would find out. But, alas.
And here I sit, at 1:19 PM, with a whole day of room-cleaning ahead of me. Yay!
Whoops. I lapsed a few days there. It wasn’t like I was incredibly busy or anything — I just couldn’t muster up the urge to update.
Hmm .. let’s see .. what has occurred in the days we haven’t spoken?
For some reason, I can’t recollect a single event that happened on Friday .. oh, wait .. I think the only thing of note was that we all went to the mall. Whoa .. big deal, I know. It was cute because Abbey and Nick wanted to get their hair cut, and usually our salon of choice is J. Immel in Carytown, but since that was a bit far for 8:00 at night, they both got their hair done at the place in the mall. We also ran into about a million people in the mall, including Buzzy, who is this interesting character that I met at the One-Act competition and whom I will forever associate with the fact that if I was a boy, I would look like him. We also ran into Tess, who was as sweet and cute as usual, and still very much with that boy who looks like a complete model, if a bit short.
Nick’s Senior Portrait appointment was Saturday morning, so me, him and his mother ambled our way down there for pictures. The photographer was the same sorta asshole who did my pictures, but Nick’s mom — who is THE most comfortable person to talk to — was able to pull a more pleasant side of his personality out of him. I also looked at the proofs of my pictures from a couple of weeks ago, and were disappointed that they came out sorta bad. I am just not photogenic, as you can probably tell from some of the pictures I put up here. A few were okay, including this awesome one Nick and I took together in these suave black outfits against a swirly-screen with smoke in the back. We look like The Avengers.
Anyway, so we did that, puttered around Carytown for a bit and then returned home. It was Abbey’s last night, so Nick took us all out to dinner at Chili’s, where our waiter looked like Brian Unger from The Daily Show. Oh, I couldn’t believe Abbey was leaving. I had treated her so badly the entire three weeks she had been here — isolating myself, having temper tantrums, etc. — and she had been so sweet, patient and tolerant. She is truly the nicest, most sincere person I have ever met, and I am so fortunate to be friends with her. This summer was definitely different for both of us — we both came to the realization that each of us had grown up in ways we never had imagined. In an odd way — even though I was a bit of an isolationist during her visit — we grew closer together. This whole summer has just been one big adjustment period after another for me, and she just go caught in the middle of it. God Bless the epiphany that is Abbey.
We ate, and then went our separate ways. This morning (well, yesterday .. it’s 12:46 AM as we speak), I attempted to get up early so Abbey and I would have more time together, but I didn’t end up dragging myself out of bed until noon, and I felt so horrible. I had to leave for rehearsal at 1:30, which meant I couldn’t take Abbey to the airport. Nick came over and we all said a short goodbye to her outside in my garage. I am so bad at goodbyes. I just have to rush through them and hope that I don’t start crying in front of the person.
So, we left and went to rehearsal. I wasn’t in the scene they were choreographing, so I sat in the audience and watched BJ teach everyone this complicated dance for two hours. I loved it. In real life, I have about a 5-minute attention span, but in theatre, I can watch for hours. A thunderstorm started racking the walls of the theatre and everything was just so completely perfect — sitting in a theatre, watching the love of my life learn a dance, while rain is falling outside. Just so nice.
Finally it was time for me to block my scene. It’s gonna be such an awesome scene. Though SK does have his faults, being a bad director is not one of them. He brews up such awesome concepts. We did my scene a couple of times, and then it was time to go home. I never want to leave there. I am honestly my happiest during any sort of theatre (I’m beginning to get way too poetically-sentimentally-disgusting on this page, but bear with me for more), and I’m always afraid that once I leave it, I’ll fall back into one of my usual funks. But, alas.
We dined at Peking, and then went our separate ways for a bit. We re-joined at my house at 9 to watch White Squall, which I had, for some reason, this big craving to see again. It, of course, features Ryan Phillippe. The 54 trailers are out now, by the way.
It was wondermous to be alone with Nick again, but it made me think about how I had neglected Abbey again. I would see Nick all year roud and Abbey for only 3 weeks, yet I chose him over her a lot of the times. They’re both my best friends, and it was a hard balance to find, and I failed in finding it. Let’s not dwell. You can, however, write Abbey (fargo_99@hotmail.com) and tell her how wonderful she is and how much I’ll miss her.
Anyway, we ended up watching Philadelphia instead, which was on CBS. I love that movie. Tom Hanks is so versatile and good.
And here I sit. I have a new lamp by my computer table and it gives off the best light. It comforts me.
Jason is back from Europe, by the way.
Here’s a random question, but something Nick and I were discussing tonight: when you have children (or if you’ve already them), would you give them a pacifier or let them go without it?
E-mail me. I’m honestly interested.
Goodnight, goodnight ..
“..I’m getting sentimental over you..”
Well. I am in a great mood. Can anyone detect a slightly manic depressive scent here? Seriously .. I’m listening to one of my swing CDs that I haven’t listened to in forever; I just drank a delicious cup of good cappuccino; I just finished watching Loveline; I’m applying raspberry lotion as you and I speak, and the smell of it somehow reminds me of Nick, though it isn’t one of our “designated” fragrances. And I’m writing this entire first paragraph in Blockquote, just because that happens to be my favorite HTML paragraph format. I am perfectly content, to use a Geoffrey word.
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I feel like crap.
I’m in a pretty okay mood, but I just feel like crawling under my big abstract purple comforter, curling up into my axiomatic fetal position, clutching my teddy bear and sleeping for a few days or so.
But, anyway. Rehearsal on Tuesday was interesting. It was the first real rehearsal, considering the first one was more of a “get-to-know-you” type of thing. We arrived quite early because I insist on being so overdramatically on time. It turned out that Nick and I would be practicing completely different things that night — he was working on music and dancing, and I was working on blocking.
May I mention that I had been in the worst mood all day? Ever since the little Red Lobster blow-out, I had basically holed myself up in my room, not talking to anyone — basically pouting like a little girl. Once I got to rehearsal, however, I was in an instant wondermous mood — theatre is the only thing in the world that can do that to me.
Anyway, while Nick was in the lobby singing, I went into the theatre for the Wench Blocking. Emily, the other Wench, and I observed SK for a bit, and then went to block our scene. SK is so thorough, but confusing at the same time. He diagrammed the scene on paper, and then told us to act it out. Emily couldn’t quite get what he was talking about, so DivaKelly (SK’s wife and the stage manager for OUAM ‘98; she was the Baroness for SOM ‘97) attempted to make a suggestion to SK, and he completely blew up at her. That was when I realized that SK was going to be one of those directors. Good, but short-fused.
So, we went through our little scene, and then went into the lobby for music. Nick had to go to the Tech Center for dancing, so he took my car and drove over there. The music portion was cute, especially since I LOVE our Southern Belle music director. She reminds me of my grandmother in a really odd way.
The music portion went by fast, and there was an hour to kill before Nick came back with the car, so Abbey and I decided to walk to the Tech Center, which is on the base. The walk there took about a half an hour, and it was very dark and strenuous, but it made me feel healthy. The dancers weren’t done when we got there, so we hung out in the car and talked for a bit.
When Nick came out of the Center, he was a bit down, so we went by McDonald’s and got extra-good McFlurry’s. We parted, with promises to meet the next day.
Which was today. Or yesterday, considering it’s 12:28 AM.
So, I orginially was going to go shopping with my mother and Abbey, but at the last minute, I decided I wanted to stay home and enjoy an empty house for once. So, I called Nick up and he came over.
Oh, come on now. When I say “empty house,” I always mean Nick, too.
Anyway, he came over and we just hung out. It was the first time in over two weeks we had been alone in my house, just chillin’ and it was nice to be able to lay on him on the couch and flip through MTV again.
Abbey, who I SWEAR is the daughter my mother never had, and my mom came back all aglow, bearing gifts, including this cute tiny decoration-type cups that read “Nicholas” and “Jenny.” It was adorable. Nick had to go at 5 ’cause of Show Choir, so I dropped him off, and then came home to eat dinner.
I had rehearsal tonight, but it was for this two-second song, so I decided it wasn’t worth wasting gas on, and went to see Saving Private Ryan instead. Hmm. It was good. Very good, in fact. But there was just something missing — it didn’t have the usual emotional pull that Stephen Spielberg is usually so good at. It was extremely realistic, and made you feel like you were part of the action .. but .. I don’t know. Just something wasn’t there.
So, I returned home in time to see a commercial for the soundtrack of 54. I can’t wait to see that movie. Nick is so obsessed with it, and he’s gotten me all wrapped up in the hype.
I’m going to Carytown tomorrow. Hopefully, it will pull me out of the misanthropic depths I have sunk into lately. I think I have the flu.
This cold sore is killing me.
Goodnight.
Okay, the main thing that irks me at the moment is this beautiful cold sore on the inside of my bottom lip. Nick and I both were chronic cold-sore sufferers for like two months, but then the little virus ceased, and now it has rebirthed itself in the soft wet flesh of my mouth. How gross. I must sound like I’m always sick.
So, I’m not taking the medicine anymore starting tonight. I don’t think I have to spell it out for you. Obviously, this “mysterious medicine” is birth control. I finally told my mother about it in the middle of Red Lobster, and it turned into this big emotional scene. That basically set the tone for the rest of the day.
But, anyway. I did a little shopping today — got good khaki pants and a good three-quarter sleeve white shirt .Also got Nick this blanket I had been wanting to give him forever. I love it — all blue, comfy and Rafe-y. Nothing else exciting occurred today, except that I picked Geoffrey up from Friendly’s because he didn’t have a car, and I watched Schindler’s List for the 1336th time. I love that movie. I honestly think I am the only person in the world who can watch it over and over again. It’s just absolutely brilliant.
I hate leaving things unsettled between Nick and I. We didn’t get in a fight or anything — in fact, we’ve never really gotten in a fight before because neither of us can stand to have even a minute bit of tension between us. We just kinda left online tonight in uneasy terms. Not a big deal. I’m just overdramatic. Or maybe I’m not. But, does it even matter anymore?
I really want my tape back for my car. I left it at Clint’s house when I spent the night there, and I miss it. The tape just had this ultra-sentimental value, even though it was made by the evil SalsaGirl. Hopefully, he didn’t throw it away like he implied he might do.
In other news, I am not ready to be an adult. My entire life, all I was waiting for was college and the chance to be on my own, but after today’s episode, I realized I am not ready to leave the comfort of my home and my room and a 5:00 dinnertime and ironed clothes on my bed and the presence of my parents a few rooms away. I’m not ready to be a grown-up. In fact, I’ve been wanting to progress with my life for years, but all I want to do now is regress to no stress, fights, depth, maturity, realism, sex, issues, drinking, JUST ANYTHING.
Good Lord. Just a little idealistic moment for you. I try not to let those mullish thoughts seep through here. Occasionally, however, it happens.
Anyway, back to the present.
I guess I should just make the most of my last year at home, because there will never be another time like this again in my entire life. I’m not ready. I am so not ready. Not ready to go to New York, to college, to anything.
Shit.
Sorry.
Okay, well, I want to try to go to sleep early, even though it’s 1:23 AM right now. I won’t, of course, go to sleep for another couple of hours.
Such a tearful summer, and I can’t even begin to convey half of it here because ever since someone called me overdramatic, I worry about sounding like that constantly.
But, hey, it’s not his fault. All mine.
Damn me.
“Go, Rara Beltway!”
OUAM ‘98 is underway, and it looks like it’s gonna be good.
Nick and I were both nervous about this night’s rehearsal, due to a number of factors. We’re both Chorus Girls — specifically, I am Princess #12 (nope, there’s no Princesses #1- 11), a Wench and The Jester’s girl. Not starring roles, but it’s a small cast, so it shall be fun.
Anyway, we walked into rehearsal with bad karma, but when we saw tables and chairs set up on stage for a read-through like they do on Broadway, we were both calmed a bit. We sat and greeted the various people (especially Max, who I had an enormous crush on during SOM ‘97, even though he happens to be 40 years old and married). Everything was done very professionally. The set designer, production manager, stage manager, etc., all gave speeches which even heightened our better feelings about the play. The speeches went on for a good two hours. Thank Goodness some sort of candy was being passed around because otherwise I would’ve died from low blood sugar or something of the sort.
We took a little break, and then got down to the read-through. OhLord. Though I respect SK in a lot of ways, he got some major strikes tonight. Many of things he said, I agreed completely with, but a lot of stuff sounded way too familiar — things that had possibly been uttered by a certain struck-out theatre teacher of mine last year. Another strike against was his unprofessionalism in one area pertaining to Nick, so I won’t go into it. Let’s just say it made absolutely no sense.
Anyway, rehearsal was long, but cute and intimate since the cast is petite. Emily, a girl from SOM ‘97 whom I absolutely adore, is going to be a Wench with me, so we shall have lots of fun with that. I’m just glad to be in theatre again! The last time I did any sort of theatre was in February, and that was only for competition .. this is so nice. So nice.
Besides, the scene where I actually have lines is gonna be awesome — all game-showy.
How is the Medicine Saga going, you ask? Well, I think I’m gonna have to go to the doctor on Wednesday to see if my strange symptoms are real or just psychosomatic. I’m really worried I’m going to have a stroke or something.
Give many hugs to Nick tonight. He needs them.
My mom wants to have a cute little Girls-Day-Out tomorrow. I’m not really in the mood for that, but I usually never am. I just want to sleep all day tomorrow.
This is one of the only half-way decent, non-dramatic pictures that exists of Nick and I. The other picture is of his bruise — which, of course, resulted from his graceful tumble down my stairs last week.
Hmm. Where did I leave off? Friday. Well, we ended up dropping Nick’s cousin Emily, her friend Patty, his sister Julia and her friend Erin off to see There’s Something About Mary. The supposed semi-horrible cousin Emily actually seemed pretty tame, despite a few eye-rollings on her part when any of us did anything out of the norm. After they were safely ensconced inside the movie theatre, we all decided that we were (what a surprise!) hungry, and went to Red Lobster, where I finally was able to dine on the crab legs I had desired for so long. The wait for our food was over an hour, but we made the most of the spare time. After our scrumptious dinner, we tread the Books-A-Million path, where Nick attained a couple copies of Interview — can you guess who’s on the cover? Abbey bought her axiomatic Cosmo, and I randomly bought Teen Magazine, which I haven’t read in over two years, but the thought of reading about nailpolish secrets and boy-getting tactics was a comforting one.
We then picked up everyone at the movies and were about to trek home, when Julia mentioned that we should go by Carini’s, a local Italian restaurant, to see our picture hanging in the front. The picture stems from a time long, long ago when Nick, Julia, Erin, me, Geoffrey and Francisco all were given free pizza by the owner because Julia and Erin knew his son.
The picture-viewing session turned into yet another free-pizza deal because Mr. Inzone, the owner, is quite possibly the world’s sweetest man. He even offered all of us free use of his swimming pool! His son, Joe, is visiting Italy, so as we were leaving, he gave this honestly heart-wrenching monologue about how much Joe missed him. It was truly beautiful, in a very Italian sense.
So, we all went our separate ways after that, with promises to meet the next day for some sort of activity.
The next morning I was woken up, as I often am, to a phone-call from Nick. All his relatives had finally departed, and he wondered if Abbey and I would like to accompany his mother and him to Carytown? We did, of course, so around 1:30, we were on our way, but not without a stop at Target first. We ran into Carrie, who is randomly engaged! I had heard through Geoffrey that she was, but I didn’t quite believe it until I saw the diamond on her finger. She, who can be stunningly beautiful if she wants to, was looking sort of sick and depressed, but we said our hellos and goodbyes. We also happened to catch a glimpse of Erica (who is the first person to sign my newly-revamped guestbook!), who seemed to be in the evil throes of an angry customer.
Once in Carytown, we travelled to the SafeHouse Pet-thingy where Nick had received his new dog, Ginny. I about died — all the dogs were adorable, but there was this one sad-looking, fetal positioned yellow dog named Chili that just broke my heart. I talked with the woman who was holding his leash for a bit, and she gave me a card, just in case I convinced my parents to let me safehouse Chili. He would be such a nice contrast against my other three rambunctious dogs.
We then walked around a bit, ate at a cool restaurant called The Mosiac where a girl that looked like Tohry Petty served us, and then went into the various shops. While we were in St. Tropez, the fact was proven that just one teeny-tiny-meaningless comment can throw my good mood off totally, especially when I’m already self-conscious. I know, vague, but whatever.
We were all tired and a bit grumpy by then (or maybe I’m speaking for myself), so we all went back to my house, with the exception of Nick’s mother. We decided collectively to see Ever After at Willow Lawn, which is where RHPS ‘98 occurred.
So, for the next 6 hours or so, we honestly just puttered around my house, not doing anything notable. Nick got on my computer, and attempted to work on his webpage, but found it difficult since his server was being biased against browsers. Abbey was sorta in a blue funk, so she kept to herself.
While eating chicken nuggets and watching The World’s Best TV Bloopers, 9:00 rolled around, and we were off to the movies. We barely made it there by 9:45, which was a time, of course, that I was in dire need of a bathroom. I had never been in this theatre before, and it was one of the scariest, darkest houser-of-movies I had ever set foot in. To get to the bathroom, I had to go up this unnecessarily-loud, jerky elevator, and then go down this Scream-worthy set of purple stairs.
The movie was actually pretty good. At first, Nick and I were both rolling our eyes at it, but as it progressed, it grew into a cute, charming little fairytale that randomly struck emotion in me. I’ve never really liked Drew Barrymore as an actress, and this was no exception, but she did seem to have some-sort of odd charisma that worked for her. Angelica Huston, as always, was a first-class diva.
The movie was over by midnight. Does it not seem lately that all movies are over two hours? So, we raced home, and then parted, with promises to meet up for a number of things tomorrow, such as the play in which Leslie provided us free tickets to, and the very first rehearsal of OUAM ‘98, which we are both a bit terrified of going to.
All of that will be occurring today. Too bad the rehearsal has to happen. Whoa, bad vibes.
Alas.
Today, so far, has been uneventful. I got up late, lounged around and then went to Wal-Mart with Abbey to get the pictures developed. Unfortunately, in the ones that I took of everyone else, I cut their heads off, so, as you will see, the top of Geoffrey’s head is missing.
Leslie, my brother’s fiancee, called me today and asked if I wanted to accompany her to a play on Sunday. How sweet is that? I honestly don’t think it’s sucking up, either, because she just seems to nice and generous of a person to do anything in that fashion.
Apparently, SK now thinks I am his casting director, and has called me several times in order to gain suggestions from me for parts in the play. Not only is this unprofessional, it’s downright unfair .. but, of course, I’m giving him suggestions. Which reminds me .. Sean, if you read this before I talk to you .. write me, and I shall tell you of an interesting offer ..
Again, the Saga of the Medicine continues. I almost passed out in Wal-Mart. Oooo, I did see Mr. Seal, my favorite Spanish teacher, in there. I love him to death. There’s just something so wrong about him that makes things so right. Does that make sense?
Tonight, I do believe that me, Abbey, Nick and like 1697843 of his relatives are going to see Ever After. That has been me and Nick’s movie for the longest time, and I can’t wait to see it, though it will probably turn into a teenager-directed, glitzy love story. The soundtrack seems like it will be good, though.
Alright, I think I’ll take a bit of a nap before the movies. It’s the Mysterious Medicine, I tell ya .. it’s only good for one thing.
“Suck it up, Sweeties.”
Hmm.
This has kinda been a fairly awful day, but I can’t really say that because only one part was truly awful, and the rest of the day was okay.
Once again, the cause of the awfulness was due to yet another window-shaking fight with my mother. Remember how I said how much I loved my father yesterday and how sweet he is? Well, I think the only reason I can say such good things about him 95% of the time is because he is docile, calm and quiet, unlike me or my mother, who are exactly the same in temperament. What this means, plainly, is that two fiery bitches are waging war against each other constantly in the house. Most of the time, the arguments are small and blow over in a few minutes, but then others are like today’s where we both end up crying and one of us ends up leaving.
Rewind a second. I got up at 8 this morning because I had promised Nick I would pick him up from the dentist. We both though this was such a mother-son arrangement, so we decided that I would dress in an ultra-modern business suit and he would dress in a tie. Okay, we’re just weird like that, but admit it .. it’s cute.
So, I picked him up and took him back to my house, where the three of us (this includes Abbey) just chilled in the living room for a bit. Well, we made too much noise or something and woke my mother up, and basically, that is when a little piece of hell started up. Details would only be redundant, but it ended with me completely sobbing, and my mother telling me that Nick would have to leave. So, I took Nick home and stood in his kitchen, sniveling against his chest, and then I finally went home, where my mom attempted to have this heart-to-heart talk with me, but I just could not do it. I just didn’t have the strength or the energy to sit with her and have some deep, meaningful conversation that would probably just double the tension between us. I just wanted to go upstairs, crawl into my computer chair, and block everything out.
So, with all this morning chaos, Abbey’s friend Brian was coming down from Dale City to visit. Needless to say, it was not the best visiting day, but being the actress I am, I managed to pull myself together and greet Brian, who was only 18, but with his height and football-stance, looked about 30 years old.
Nick and I had both been worried about what to do for entertainment for the boy, so we decided to rely on our steadfast method of food, and took them to Applebee’s. It was a cute little lunch, but Nick was feeling sorta sick, so we went back to his house, where we put in Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Nick wasn’t feeling good and I figured Brian and Abbey would want some alone time, so we retreated upstairs where we both promptly fell asleep for two hours.
We left around 4:00, with promises to meet up later that evening. Brian, the pseudo-30-year-old wonder, departed with his own promises of returning next week. Abbey and I just kinda hung out for a bit until the doorbell rang, where we were met with Stephie and two creepy boys. One was visiting Stephie from England, and the other turned out to be the wonderfully-attractive, wonderfully-charming Jon, who was not creepy at all. We had an awkward little meeting in my foyer, and then both went our separate ways. In the meantime, I managed to sort of make up with my mother, who is taking our fighting as of late a whole lot more serious than I am.
At this point, I honestly cannot see past myself or Nick. I am neglecting Abbey and my parents, but there is like this brick wall around me that will only let me cater to myself and Nick. I can’t see anyone else. But, anyway. Just a random thought break.
So, we went to Nick’s and got our weekly dose of The Real World. Nick practiced his audition song, and then we parted ways.
12:32 AM. I am so overly excited about auditions for tomorrow. I have something quite special planned, so let’s hope it works out.
I haven’t heard from Geoffrey in two days. I’m beginning to think he went to Tech and is never coming back.
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Do you ever just feel like that?
I love Nick. Have I ever mentioned that before?
I’ve realized that my webpage has replaced my personal journal in some aspects. Usually, I write here first, in a vague and general manner, and then later on, I write in my personal journal, using more specifics and, of course, names. I learned from the reaction to yesterday’s update that it might be a good idea if I vent in my personal journal before I vent here. It avoids panic I never want to incite — may I emphasize never — and it’s just more fair (fairer?) to the parties involved.
With that said, I will mention that the new medicine I am on has about three dozen horrible side effects (most unlikely, but I am a closet hypochondriac), but so far I am only experiencing extreme hot flashes, weird headaches (I always have headaches, but these just feel especially weird), and strange skin dryness. Hopefully, those will be the only side effects I receive from this medicine.
I woke up to Nick’s voice on the phone this morning, which is quite possibly the best way to arise ever. We spoke for exactly 28 minutes and 42 seconds (my new high-tech phone documents the length of phonecalls!), and then made plans to meet up around 12:30 to go shopping for my dad’s birthday present.
So, Abbey and I showered/dressed and went over to Nick’s, where I immediately flocked to his new puppy Ginny, who is so cute that I just want to stuff her in my pocket and take her home. We played with her for a while, and then hit the road (oh, what a corny phrase) in the direction of the mall.
Once in the mall, it was very easy to find my dad something. The evil SalsaGirl works at the store we were shopping at, so we were clutching hands tightly and walking through the aisles like they were minefields waiting to explode. Such issues I have with this SalsaGirl. I’m refraining from using her real name, but if you check in the archives, I’m sure you can figure out who I’m talking about. Or maybe not, but anyway, we managed to buy my dad a scrumptiously light blue Ralph (pronounced Rafe in my mind) polo shirt and a cute little GUND PoohBear, reminiscent of my childhood.
We — or rather Nick, the hungry-growing-boy he is — ate lunch, and Nick recognized this boy (actually an older man, but I call all males “boys”) sitting across from us who was a Movie Critic for some Richmond newspaper. That just struck me as hilarious for some reason. Alas.
We went back to Nick’s house ’cause he had a doctor’s appointment at 3, and walked his dogs. We then went back to my house, where Abbey and I prepared a delicious dinner of Tacos (since that is the only food in this holy world that I know how to cook properly) for my dad, and wrapped his presents. Dinner was cute, and my dad (who is honestly the sweetest, nicest person I know) seemed to enjoy everything.
On a fatherly note, does it seem to you that most people seem to hate their fathers? I love mine to death. Yes, he sometimes has this jabbing quirk of treating me like a four-year-old princess, but I love him. He deserves everything.
Well, FatherLover all of a sudden?
Anyway, Nick dropped by a little after that, and we went to Blockbuster to rent Ready To Wear. Once home, we tried to watch it, but it was just so confusing and odd that we made ourselves late-night snacks, and watched various MTV programming.
Okay. There is this thing me and Nick do that Abbey affectionally describes as “Chipmunk Kissing.” I don’t know how to describe it without coming off sounding completely weird, but it’s like we make these little noises and bite each other, all in jest, of course. See? It sounds dumb, but it’s really funny. Anyway, Nick was doing that to me and he accidentally like sucked to hard on the side of my cheek or something (this was all in good taste — Abbey was sitting right next to me), and left this giant red hickey on my cheek. Yes, on my face. Feel free to drop by and take pictures.
Hehe.
I dropped Nick off after the FaceHickeyFiasco, and here I sit, at 1:27 AM, and having to get up in 7 hours because I promised Nick I would pick him up from the dentist. Is that not cute? Abbey’s friend Brian is coming down from Dale City to visit, so we’ll probably end up going to Carytown or the movies or something.
Damn this side-effect throat dryness. It could, however, be worse — like a stroke or an aneurysm or something. It’s really cute because Nick and I are both on weird medications right now, and we’re like having a side-effect contest.
Alright. I have a BSB (OhLord, I’m using the acronym) song in my head, so I shall go to sleep (or bed, if I wanted to be cute and rhyme). Goodnight, farewell .. and tomorrow is another day (that’s for Stephie).
Please count how many times I used ( )’s today (I can’t spell the word). It would make my day.