I’m off to VA (well, Minneapolis for the night and then VA tomorrow.) I can’t wait to be there. Erik will be with me, so all will be well, hopefully.
If I die in a horrible fiery plane crash, my favourite flowers are tulips.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-28-2000 | 01:07 PM
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“I flew into Nashville, Tennessee,
but you wouldn’t even come around to see me.
And since you’re heading up to Carolina,
you know I’m gonna right up there behind you.
’cause always I have to steal my kisses from you.
Now, I love to hear that warm Southern rain.
Just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding thing,
and to see it fall on your simple country dress —
like heaven to me, I must confess.
Now I’ve been hanging ’round here for days,
but when I lean in, you just turn your head away.
Whoa, you didn’t mean that . . .
she said: ‘I love the way you think,
but I hate the way you act.’”
Posted by: Zosia | 07-27-2000 | 01:07 PM
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The only criteria I have for the next person I date is that they not be a champion sleeper. I always seem to wind up being the insomniac in the relationship; the one who always grudgingly ends a latenight phone conversation because the other is tired. The next person I date will have the same latenight artistic tendencies I have, and toss and turn with me on sleepless nights.
So there.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-27-2000 | 01:07 AM
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After a close-reading, I’ve come to the conclusion that this website is beginning to suck. I started it up again because I thought I had significant things to say, but if I were to judge myself by what I write, I would hate me. According to the girl on the page, I’m a hormone- filled flaky chick who drinks alcohol as much as she breathes and ponders the deeper issues of life about twice every ten years.
This isn’t true, but I don’t seem to convey that falseness too well.
My head is swimming right now. It always is. Not always in a bad, confusing way — about 60% of the time, it’s swimming with the hundreds of possibilities and great blessings I have in my life. The other 40% is imagining my fiery death in an airplane this weekend or the outcome of my little experiment of adulthood here in Duluth.
Bah. I’ve been in a foul mood all day because I had a horrible hangover. I ditched half of class and all of work, and slept a whole lot. I felt better.
I want to leave this boring stable town. Then I would have to start a whole other life again, wherever I landed. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea, however.
Alright, enough lamenting and back to Bag of Bones, which I’ve read a billion times, but somehow don’t grow tired of.
The world is not enough, but it’s such a perfect place to start, la, la, la.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-26-2000 | 10:07 PM
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Disaster! Erik might not be able to come to Virginia with me ’cause his grandfather is really sick and doesn’t have a positive predicted future, so he might have to attend the funeral in California. It’s an entirely sad and understandable predicament — but, oh, how the absence of him would suck. It’s more than just an awesome chance to be with him and show him my hometown . . . ahh, I just don’t know if I can face home without him, my new-life security blanket upon entrance to my old-life.
Anyway, it’s still up in the air.
My obsession as of late is corny standards from the 40s. Actually, that’s not a new obsession; I’m just soaking myself with them more and more. If you get a chance, download Sarah Vaughn singing Send in the Clowns — she has the most absurd voice I’ve ever heard.
Tests to study for.
The kamikaze flies are now kamikaze mosquitos.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-24-2000 | 09:07 PM
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“Blue, songs are like tattoos —
you know I’ve been to sea before, so
crown and anchor me
or let me sail away.
Hey Blue, here is a song for you:
Ink on a pin,
underneath the skin —
an empty space to fill in.
Well, there’re so many sinking now,
you’ve got to keep thinking:
you can make it thru these waves..
Acid, booze, and ass,
needles, guns, and grass,
lots of laughs, lots of laughs.
Everybody’s saying that hell’s the hippest way to go —
well, I don’t think so,
but I’m gonna take a look around it though —
Blue, I love you.
Blue, here is a shell for you.
Inside you’ll hear a sigh,
a foggy lullaby.
There is your song from me.”
Posted by: Zosia | 07-23-2000 | 11:07 PM
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All the bugs in Minnesota are fucking kamikazes. I woke up this morning to a fly the size of a grape skydiving into my forehead.
I also woke up to the air mattress I sleep on completely deflated.
It, apparently, was not a good morning.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-23-2000 | 10:07 PM
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“’cause I’ve seen blue skies, through the tears in my eyes, and I realize . . . I’m going home.”
So, next weekend, I’m going home for four days and bringing a little Northern culture with me in the form of a 6′5 blue-eyed jazz musician and excellent waterskiir from Fargo named Erik I had had too much coffee one night, was sleep-deprived and hyper off the scales, and decided I wanted to go home for a bit, and bring Erik with me. So, I found a cheap ticket, thanked the Lord that Erik always goes along with me on my insane schemes, and there you go. I’m seriously excited. I could never, ever in this stage of my life be in Chester for more than a short visit, but I’m absolutely thrilled about this visit.
It’ll be fun to play for a couple of days and not worry about school or disgrunteled students wanting their financial aid.
For this weekend, I’m going do absolutely nothing and I’m going to love it. The Duluth Shakespeare Festival is going on now, so I’ll stop by that. But, otherwise . . . pure fantastic laziness.
See some of you soon!
Posted by: Zosia | 07-21-2000 | 09:07 PM
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So, the Barnes and Noble in Duluth, which I frequent at the very least three times a week, is apparently some chasm of strangeness. While at B&N, I have: been asked to pose nude by an art photographer, scared my semi-boyfriend’s* band teacher’s entire family by buying Lesbian Erotica, was called an angel by a extremely creepy old man who then proceeded to ask what my Myers-Brigg type was and when I didn’t know, fetched every book he could find on it in the bookstore and gave them to me (this was today), and had the most extreme case of karass-ness ever in my life (read Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut for a full description of that. It basically means seeing the same person over and over again in various places. This person — an older Astro-physics teacher — is in Barnes and Noble 95% of the time I am, and I also run into him at Bixby’s, a smaller coffee place closer to my house).
In regards to the * by “semi-boyfriend”: alas. That’s a whole story in it’s self. I have the luxury of discussing events here in full honesty ’cause no one in my lovely little posse here knows of the website. So, Erik, my boy from Fargo, and I are “seriously dating.” He’s absolutely amazingly wonderful and a great match for me in almost every way. We came out of scandal — I met him through Abbey (my best friend and roommate), who had a huge crush on him. Erik and I became best buds (as described in one of the lower entries), and we both had secret crushes on each other, unbeknownst to the other person. Then, one night, a couple of weeks after I met him, we were rather drunk at a nightclub, and I kissed him out of no where. So, thus began our little fling. He had a girlfriend of two years when that happened. Whoops. But they broke up, and here we are. He wants a serious, hardcore, let’s-get-married type thing. I just want to be me for a while. Blah blah blah blah, anyway, that’s why I don’t know what to call him, other than a “semi-boyfriend.” Ohh, but I do so adore him, more than life.
Time to study.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-19-2000 | 07:07 PM
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No matter how old I get and no matter how much of a feminist I am, it is still embarrassing to buy tampons in front of a boy.
The party was a success. No scandals to speak of, just good old- fashioned fun. I have lots of pictures to put up here, and will, probably tonight.
For now, Garrison K. awaits me.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-18-2000 | 06:07 PM
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Tova: BJHEoigh0iewohglkdsnk
Sub: You had me at BJHEoigh0iewohglkdsnk
(think Jerry Maguire)
“Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house,
all the mice were playing,
because the cat was dead.”
— Caroline in the City
It is unbearably warm in the state of perpetual winter and with ceiling fan swiveling and the mosquitos finding solace in my soft flesh, I am off to bed.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-14-2000 | 12:07 AM
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My good high school friend Russ IMed me with:
Never shall young men thrown into despair by those great honey colored ramparts
at your ear love you for yourself alone and not your yellow hair
But I can get a hair dye and set such color there
brown or black or carrot that young men in despair may love me for myself alone
and not my yellow hair
I heard an old religious man but yesternight declare
that he had found a text that proves that only God my dear
can love you for yourself alone and not your yellow hair
I can’t wait until this Friday, for the party and for some quality time with my Fargo Kid. I’ve been soaked in work and school so much that I forgot that I, personally, need a little scandal and excitement to survive.
I realized this as Abbey rushed in the house to grab a quick bite before she went to a party with her new boy. She was flushed, radiant and excited, and I was standing at the stove in boxers and a stained white t-shirt, pale as the day is long, hair unbrushed and limp around my face, stirring watery Au Gratin potatoes.
Abbey has some good scandal brewing. I think I need some. My goal was Jeff, the tall lanky semi-gorgeous mailboy that works in my office, but he seems to not know my presence.
It’s muggy and dark in Duluth, and I am off to attempt sleep.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-12-2000 | 11:07 PM
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So, Russian History is seriously the most fascinating class I’ve taken to date, but today I left, oh, after about 45 minutes of being there ’cause I was simply so exhausted that I thought I was going to whoops, fall into the lap of the Stocky Psuedo-Tow Truck Electrical Engineer next to me.
No class should be 3.5 hours. If it was a class where Ralph Fiennes, Angelina Jolie, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Styron and Garrison Keillor chatted about their sex lives, and then fed me ice cream and coffee for 3.5 hours, I would still be bored. If it was a class called the Interesting Class and was proven scientifically to be fascinating to 100% of the population of the world, I would still be bored.
A nice soiree is happening at my household this weekend, a little early party for Abbey. I’m really excited ’cause the old posse is gonna be here, and oh, how I have missed them.
A huge homosexuality debate is going on at Metafilter. You should join in.
I am currently . . .
Posted by: Zosia | 07-11-2000 | 08:07 PM
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If you’ve never been to EOD, you need to be going there. I do so love Greg Knauss.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-11-2000 | 11:07 AM
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So, my summer classes began today — Media and Society from 9 - 11 AM, and History of Russia in the 20th Century, 6 - 9:30 PM, with many hours of work in the hallowed office of financial aid in between.
There is a gorgeous specimen of work in my history class. Looks a little like the Tow Truck God, though a bit more stocky. In trying to appear beautiful and graceful in front of him, I fell flat on my face in front of his desk.
Ah, young love.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-10-2000 | 10:07 PM
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Never eat after watching a Dateline expose on food poisoning, especially if you are a rampant hypochondriac who frequents WebMD several times a day.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-09-2000 | 10:07 PM
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Incontinent wallets. Heh.
I love Conan.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-08-2000 | 12:07 PM
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Today I felt like a porno star.
I decided to go to a movie. There was a ferocious storm outside, so when I got to the theatre, I quickly jumped out of my car and slammed the door, only to realize .5 milliseconds later, I had locked my keys in my car. This would be #3 for me. So, soaked, wearing a white t-shirt, I called a towing service from the theatre and then sat on the hood of my car reading Valley of the Dolls in the rain to wait for the tow-truck person.
He arrived. He was a God. Early 20s, dark hair, cheekbones from the brightest side of heaven, a shy, full-lipped smile just waiting to be eaten up. You can imagine the porno out of that.
Unfortunately, no raunchy sex in the rain happened. What did happen, however, was that he worked on my car for an hour and was unable to get it open. In frustration, he handed the tool to me and I opened it in two seconds.
I was embarrassed for him.
I should’ve offered the raunchy sex then, but no, I got in my car and drove home in the rain.
Didn’t I used to be scandalous?
Posted by: Zosia | 07-08-2000 | 11:07 AM
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I’m really apparently dangerous when I’m bored. The past few days have been absolutely tame and calm and devoid of any excitement. I had the opportunity to go to the current semi-love of my life’s lake cabin in Fargo (yes, Fargo) for the weekend, but I opted to stay here.
So, between dying my hair blue again and taking up smoking, I decided to try to start smoking. On the way back from seeing The Patriot, which, might I say, is an excellent movie, I tried to light up a cigarette and my car ended up in a ditch.
I was never good at picking up bad habits.
I think I’m going to a friend’s party in Minneapolis tomorrow night. The friend is Luke and the first time I met him, I was pretty much drunk in my dorm room and thought it would be funny to say fuck a lot. He lived below me and was coming up to ask what all the noise was, and I invited him to come the fuck in and have a fucking drink. Since then, we’ve become buddies. He’s actually the first attractive male that I’ve been friends with that I haven’t wanted to jump in a hormonal way.
Anyway, he’ll be 20 and he’s making a Wop.
I just had a dinner of green beans. I think it’s time for bed.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-07-2000 | 11:07 AM
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For the moment, this is a new version of an old companion that I have missed dearly, Delineating Randomness. It has been out of service for almost a year now — ironic how the most fascinating and insane things have happened to me in the year I decide not to record any of them.
This newly renovated, though still similar, version will be much abbreviated. I doubt I could muster the energy for my old rambling entries, and I doubt many of you would care anymore. So, this, instead of being a diary, will be true to it’s name and be randomness.
Just a brief status of myself: I’ve lived in Duluth, Minnesota since January now. I go to school at the University of Minnesota Duluth, majoring in musical theatre and minoring in English. This summer I am living in a house with a blue door and working in the financial aid office of UMD.
I’m not nearly the same person that used to write this. So, maybe we’ll come to know each other again.
Posted by: Zosia | 07-06-2000 | 11:07 AM
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